Men

Summary:

The emotional pain of depression can feel very bad indeed. A doctor who had lots of illnesses said that the pain he had from depression was  worse than the pain of a heart attack or a kidney stone! But all pain can be helped, and all painful conditions can pass spontaneously or be wiped out by a professional. Go to sleep instead! And go to see a friend, colleague, a doctor or a health professional, such as a psychologist or counsellor. Or get free anonymous help; call a crisis line (listed on the front page of this site), or click on the box on the right hand side of the home page of this site where we offer free online therapy and free email replies from psychiatrists. And please remember that if you do end your life by suicide, you significantly increase the risk that those close to you, including your children, will also kill themselves!

Escaping the pain:

When anyone is in pain, all sorts of possibilities cross your mind to escape the pain. However,  you would never advise a friend to die to escape pain, as you know that all pain will eventually stop. Do not throw away the rest of your life due to a temporary pain, no matter how severe it is. There are  lots of people who would rush to your aid if they knew you were drowning; equally, they would rush to your aid if they knew you were in danger of dying from something like stress or depression. The illness may try to fool you into thinking you are alone, but the reality is that lots of people want to save your life, just as you would if the positions were reversed.

Stress & Depression:

The vast majority of men who die from suicide turn out to have had depression, clinical depression or depressive illness, call it what you like. This is a change in your brain chemistry and in your ability to think, brought about by stress, so that all you are allowed to see in life are the negatives of life, with the positives being filtered out. It is subtle and persuasive.
If you are having trouble being able to read and remember what you read at the same level as a year ago, then it is very likely you have developed depression. Impaired concentration and poor memory, are strong indicators that your brain chemistry has been affected. If this has happened, you really cannot trust your judgment, as it is like having a computer virus that is distorting what you see and how you calculate the situation.>

Depression is mental cancer:

Like many other illnesses cancers, depression creeps over people slowly, so that they barely notice the early symptoms, such as being very tired, losing enjoyment in the normal things of life, and not being able to think clearly or read like before. The illness goes on to take over more and more parts of your mind, and tries to end your life, like many other cancers. It makes you think negatively about the past, the present and the future, and convinces you there will never be a change. Depression also hurts very badly. A senior doctor, who previously was president of the College of General Practitioners,  is quoted as having stated that the pain he suffered personally from depression was worse than the pain he had suffered when he had kidney stones and also when he had a heart attack. In many people, even when depression has been treated, it tries to come back in later years, just like cancer, unless proper precautions are taken.

Suicidal ideas due to problems:

Yes, it may cross your mind when you have a problem that not being alive would remove you from that problem. However, you would never advise a friend to try to solve a problem using this approach, so why not keep in mind very clearly what you would tell a friend. Indeed, just think what you would want a good friend of yours to do, if he or she had a sudden horrible problem. You would want your friend to contact you, visit you, talk to you, stay with you, and perhaps bring you  to see a professional or a doctor. All of these steps help to control how bad you feel when there is a problem, or when something horrible has happened. And persisting with contact with friends and professionals will allow the pain to pass.

Also, going to sleep when you feel desperate will take you out of the situation, and natural healing mechanisms in your brain during sleep will give you more strength and more ways of solving the problem. Life changes continuously, and people and situations that seem major at one time will quickly seem quite irrelevant down the track. Do not let one bad phase in your life, or one bad situation, destroy the future you have, with the likelihood there will be lots of very good times as you go through the rest of your life.

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